I started my spiritual disciplines devotional book this month. It goes through 12 disciplines (one for each month) and i decided to start with Worship. Specifically it is focusing on corporate worship. It's been really interesting to ponder things like, why I dress the way I do for church; my attitude toward church throughout the week and on Sundays, the importance of embracing different worship styles/music, worship as a lifestyle, etc.
Today's reading, however, went really deep. The writer talks about how John, one of Jesus' closest friends, fell to the ground overwhelmed at Jesus' glory in his Revelation (chapter 1). The writer encourages us to mediate on whether we are more comfortable with Jesus as a friend or a victorious king.
I've been thinking about this for the last 8 hours and in many ways for the last several months (years?) and the truth is, I'm not sure how I see Jesus. Or if I really see Jesus much at all.
With insight beyond her years my little sister (in Christ, from other parents, however you want to classify it) helped me realize how much Jesus is not present in the depths of my soul. Of course I'm a Christian but somehow, after being raised in the church, the Christ in Christian has lost the power of Jesus and the power of the cross.
For some reason, God is a much easier concept to grasp and worship. This all powerful being that loves me, cares for me, guides me, provides for me. But the idea that a man - an actual person - had to come and literally save me is very hard for me to take hold of. I completely understand it and very much believe it. However, I have a hard time truly feeling it and making in personal. I think it's pride.
Have I ever really needed saving, i ask myself subconsciously. I was always a relatively good kid. Didn't do too much gallivanting around, did ministry, went to church. I have just never really had that 'picked me up, turned me around, placed my feet on solid ground' experience.
I think this is something I will wrestle with for a while.
I want to know and feel Jesus.
I want to figure out how to raise Ruby and Anderson in a Christian home in a way that allows them to know Jesus for themselves so they don't get into their 20's and realize that their faith is more in their head than in their heart....
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
The Big Re-Tilling
It's been a long time since I've actually done the things I spent years convincing others to do. While I was working long hours spreading the word about Mission Year and the importance of continually deepening your faith, being a good neighbor, putting those you live with ahead of yourself, fighting against injustice, and allowing others to see Christ in you - I failed to intentionally live out these ideals in my day-to-day life.
Through the years I've seemed to let my excuses get the better of me, and in many ways, get the better of my faith. I was either a newlywed (trying to learn how to be married), uncomfortably pregnant, new to the neighborhood, a new mom, too busy with work, uncomfortable with other's approaches to ministry, responsible for keeping my toddler on a schedule, pregnant again, or the mother of a newborn (again).
The time I spent coming up with (and whole-heartedly believing in) these excuses has successfully distanced me from the things I truly believe God calls us to and in turn as frayed my believe that God is bigger than any excuse I can come up with and therefore has continually called my bluff.
So here I am, back from a wonderfully enjoyable 2 week vacation, which included the shedding of my excuses. It is time for an overhaul - a re-tilling of the ground. For the last few years I have committed to being comfortable and now it's time to commit to some things that are a bit more important than being comfortable.
This should be really good......challenging but good.
Through the years I've seemed to let my excuses get the better of me, and in many ways, get the better of my faith. I was either a newlywed (trying to learn how to be married), uncomfortably pregnant, new to the neighborhood, a new mom, too busy with work, uncomfortable with other's approaches to ministry, responsible for keeping my toddler on a schedule, pregnant again, or the mother of a newborn (again).
The time I spent coming up with (and whole-heartedly believing in) these excuses has successfully distanced me from the things I truly believe God calls us to and in turn as frayed my believe that God is bigger than any excuse I can come up with and therefore has continually called my bluff.
So here I am, back from a wonderfully enjoyable 2 week vacation, which included the shedding of my excuses. It is time for an overhaul - a re-tilling of the ground. For the last few years I have committed to being comfortable and now it's time to commit to some things that are a bit more important than being comfortable.
This should be really good......challenging but good.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
What Would I Do Without Community?
It's been a great week and as much as I'd like to take most of the credit for it I cannot imagine how it would have happened without my amazing community of friends.
It's really hard (emotionally, mostly) to nurture a young marriage and raise a young family while being hundreds of miles away from your family. Irvin's family is in Atlanta and mine is in PA and DC and as a relatively new wife (3 years in August!) and the mother of a toddler and newborn I often think about the fact that my life is nowhere close to what I imagined it to be even 5 years ago.
I was sure that by the time I got married and started having children I would be settled somewhere in Central Pennsylvania and be under the helpful guidance of the amazing women in my family. Women who have raised vanloads of kids and thrived through decades of marriage. Women who love me so much that they'd offer to cook, clean, babysit - whatever they could do to make my life as a new mother easier.
I never thought I'd be living in New Orleans - an obnoxiously far drive from anyone who knew me as a Hayes. Yet here I am. And here is where I have found my NOLA family.
Since we started attending Castle Rock Community Church we have been blessed with amazing friends and strong community. Many of the members of CRCC are from places other than New Orleans so they understand this New Normal I have found myself in. They have come alongside me in this time of transition and propped me up. They have cooked, babysat, advised, prayed for, and loved us. Surely they don't know how much they've carried me in the last two weeks.
I will be forever grateful.
It's really hard (emotionally, mostly) to nurture a young marriage and raise a young family while being hundreds of miles away from your family. Irvin's family is in Atlanta and mine is in PA and DC and as a relatively new wife (3 years in August!) and the mother of a toddler and newborn I often think about the fact that my life is nowhere close to what I imagined it to be even 5 years ago.
I was sure that by the time I got married and started having children I would be settled somewhere in Central Pennsylvania and be under the helpful guidance of the amazing women in my family. Women who have raised vanloads of kids and thrived through decades of marriage. Women who love me so much that they'd offer to cook, clean, babysit - whatever they could do to make my life as a new mother easier.
I never thought I'd be living in New Orleans - an obnoxiously far drive from anyone who knew me as a Hayes. Yet here I am. And here is where I have found my NOLA family.
Since we started attending Castle Rock Community Church we have been blessed with amazing friends and strong community. Many of the members of CRCC are from places other than New Orleans so they understand this New Normal I have found myself in. They have come alongside me in this time of transition and propped me up. They have cooked, babysat, advised, prayed for, and loved us. Surely they don't know how much they've carried me in the last two weeks.
I will be forever grateful.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The Days are Long but the Weeks Fly By
My Aunt Dora and cousin Masako were here for a week helping Irvin, Ruby, and I adjust to life with a newborn. They are amazing. They did our shopping, cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, and anything else that came up for the whole week. Not only was I spoiled for days on end with delicious meals and clean bathrooms -- I was blessed with lots of laughter and great conversation. Sometimes you just need to be with people who know you....I mean, really know you.
Dora has been like a mother to me for as long as I can remember, and especially since my actual mother died over 5 years ago. I think it's so important to have women in your life who are older, more experienced. Women who have been through the mountains and valleys of life and have taken the time to learn from what they have gone through. What a priceless gift to bounce thoughts and ideas off of a women who is married, has raised/is in the process of raising 5 great kids, and seeks to follow Christ in all she does. In so many ways I want to be like her when I grow up. Since we live so far away (New Orleans and PA) I just soak up the moments when we can sit down with tea and McVitties and talk politics, faith, relationships, church, etc. Its my type of soul food.
They've left New Orleans and yet I feel refreshed even though I'm sleep-deprived, full even though I'm drained, and ready to take on this new role even though I'm unsure of what I'm doing. Just knowing that there are people who love me, are praying for me, and are just a phone call away gives me confidence beyond measure.
Dora has been like a mother to me for as long as I can remember, and especially since my actual mother died over 5 years ago. I think it's so important to have women in your life who are older, more experienced. Women who have been through the mountains and valleys of life and have taken the time to learn from what they have gone through. What a priceless gift to bounce thoughts and ideas off of a women who is married, has raised/is in the process of raising 5 great kids, and seeks to follow Christ in all she does. In so many ways I want to be like her when I grow up. Since we live so far away (New Orleans and PA) I just soak up the moments when we can sit down with tea and McVitties and talk politics, faith, relationships, church, etc. Its my type of soul food.
They've left New Orleans and yet I feel refreshed even though I'm sleep-deprived, full even though I'm drained, and ready to take on this new role even though I'm unsure of what I'm doing. Just knowing that there are people who love me, are praying for me, and are just a phone call away gives me confidence beyond measure.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Anderson's Birth Story
Monday May 25th I woke up around 5:20am for one of my many trips to the bathroom. After settling back into bed I had this weird feeling in my lower abdomen. It was sort of like I had to go to the bathroom again but sort of different too. It went away rather quickly so I didn’t bother getting up. A little while later the same feeling came back. Hmmm, maybe these were contractions! I checked the time – it was 5:50am and this was my second contraction in about 20 minutes. Nothing painful, just sort of a tightening in my lower abs/bladder area. Then it happened again. Check the clock – 6:00am. Ok, this is seeming like a pattern. Clearly I can’t go back to sleep now this is just too exciting! Instead I text message my great friend Sarah since I know she has to be at work at 7am anyway. Her excitement spurs mine on even more. After about an hour I make my way into the living room where Irvin fell asleep watching TV the night before. I wake him up and nonchalantly tell him I’ve been having contractions for an hour.
There’s nothing really to do so we both just lay around until Ruby gets awake around 8am. The contractions continue but are just mediocre (maybe a 3 out of 10 on a discomfort scale). They’re still about 10 or so minutes apart but nothing that would stop me in from going about my day. Then, around 10am things slowed down. The contractions faded and we all were getting cabin fever from just sitting around waiting. Maybe going on a walk would help get things going again. Oh right, it’s pouring down rain. Scratch that idea. We all need to get out of the house so I decide to check some things off my list and we load up in the van and head to the mall. It’s Memorial Day so I knew good sales would await and Ruby was in desperate need of some summer clothes. After an hour or so of shopping, a big delicious lunch at Chik-fil-A, and just a few weak sporadic contractions we head home.
Around 2pm we decide that it’s family naptime and what a glorious naptime it is. We each got 3 hours of uninterrupted quality sleep…maybe my uterus would feel rested enough to get back to work! Or maybe not.
Bored out of our minds, it’s Irvin’s turn to pick an activity to get us out of the house. Naturally, he picks fishing. Eh, that doesn’t sound so fun to me but walking along the Lakefront may get the ball rolling again and when our friends Truman and Ashley agree to meet us there it’s a go.
It’s a beautiful evening for a walk so Ashley and I load our kids (they have a 10 month old son, August) in the strollers and leisurely chat it up while we’re walking. I feel a few contractions that were about a 4 out of 10 but nothing to call home about (as I told my brother who called for an update). After our walk we sat on a bench for a snack and more chatting. Every time I stood up another contraction would come. In the back of my mind I think, maybe this walk actually did something. But then again maybe not so I don’t get too excited.
As it gets close to 8pm we all pack up and head home. On the 15 minute drive home I had two more contractions! There were a little bit stronger too. Strong enough that I didn’t feel like talking in the middle of them. That was definitely progress. Then, as I’m getting out of the van at our house a significantly stronger contraction comes upon me. I really just have to sit there and breathe through it. Hmm, that was the strongest yet. I think this is actual labor but I’m not positive.
Irvin got Ruby dinner as I laid down for a little bit. The contractions kept coming and they were definitely stronger than in the morning. Around 9pm Ruby is ready for bed. We start our normal routine with our Franklin the Turtle book. In the middle of the story I had to take a break…strong contraction…Ruby please sit still, Mommy doesn’t feel so good. Ok, it passed. I hurry up and finish the book. I rush through our prayer, sing a shortened version of one song, fly through Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and lay her down just in time for another contraction to start. I gingerly walk out of the room – walking isn’t very comfortable in the middle of a strong contraction.
There is an NBA game on when I get to the living room (no different than any other recent night! J) as I stretch out on the couch. It’s about 9:30pm. I was really hungry an hour ago but now I’m not interested in the lasagna in our fridge. Irvin thinks we should time the contractions for an hour to get our baseline assessment of where we stand. He’s such a great coach with his stopwatch around his neck (which he’s been carrying around since 7am!). At the beginning of that hour I think eating an orange sounds good. Coach Irvin obliges. It’s so delicious. About 20 minutes later eating an orange sounds like a horrible idea. And 20 minutes after that I ask for a trash can. I think I might be sick but thankfully I never threw up. Ok, an hour of timing finally ends. I tell Irvin that this is definitely real labor but the contractions don’t feel quite strong enough to warrant thinking about a trip to the hospital. My greatest fear is getting to the hospital and being barely dilated. With Ruby I got to the hospital and was 7 centimeters already but still labored for 12 hours before she was born. I was definitely not looking to repeat that. I found the Coach’s synopsis of the contractions interesting. They were all under 5 minutes apart and all lasted over a minute. That can’t be right I said, they just don’t seem that productive! He told me he thought I was farther along than I felt. What could he know? He had never gone through childbirth before. I know my body and I think we have some time. (I’ll eat those words forever!) I think taking a shower will be good. Showers are supposed to be relaxing and really get contractions to intensify. Taking a bath worked well with Ruby but since I actually wanted to bathe and wash my hair a shower sounded delightful. My plan was to stay in there until the hot water ran out and I was to knock on the wall if anything drastic happened – like if my water broke. Irvin was going to lay down and try to catch a nap. It was around 11pm.
The shower was feeling amazing! So relaxing. It felt great to be clean after a long day of random emotions and long walks. The contractions continued but they didn’t feel as strong as they had been. They did however feel closer together. I hazily remembered 2 years ago when we were taking our Bradley Childbirth classes that a great position for laboring was squatting. I never did that with Ruby because every contraction was back labor and I was afraid squatting would hurt my back even more. I felt good this time though and since I was so comfortable I thought I’d see if the good Dr. Bradley was right. Well, that was the last contraction I would have the in the shower. It was the strongest contraction I had had all day (a 7 out of 10 on the discomfort scale) and it just felt different. As I got out of the shower I still felt good overall. Good enough to make sure my hair looked relatively cute. I had another minor contraction but nothing too intense.
I decide to lie down on the bed for a minute to continue my relaxing mood. Irvin asks if he should resume timing the contractions. Lets just see how the next one is I tell him. Well, the next one came and it was strong and it made me feel a little bit like pushing. Hmm, that’s interesting. I had the same feeling with Ruby and that’s when I decided it was time to go the hospital. I tell Irvin to call someone to hang out at our house while Ruby sleeps, it’s time to hit the road. He agrees and tells me to get dressed while he makes the call. Another contraction comes….I don’t think I can get up to get my clothes, Coach. I just want to lay here for a minute.
Then came the next contraction. Uh oh, there’s no mistaking this one. I absolutely have to push right now! So I push. Things start to get a bit frantic. Irvin, this baby is coming right now. Call Wendy (our pastor’s wife who happens to be a midwife). Shoot – no answer. It’s 12:15am. No Irvin we can’t make it to the hospital. Another contraction. My body is pushing regardless of what I want so the only thing I can do is push along with it. Irvin, call 911 right now! 911? Yes, this baby is coming right now call 911!
This is so surreal. Is this really happening? Irvin runs to the bathroom to wash his hands. Then he runs back to the bathroom to grab a towel. I would describe it as controlled chaos. Irvin tries to help me sit up into a position more comfortable than laying flat on my back. I can’t move! Not in the middle of a contraction! Ok, that one passes, I can sit up now. No, Irvin tells the operator, I can’t see the head. Another contraction…more pushing. During this contraction my water broke with a gush. Ok, yes I see the head Irvin says. The head is right there. What! The head is right there? It’s almost reassuring…this is almost over. Another contraction. Phew, the head is out. One last contraction. The body is out too. Woo hoo! We did it. IT’S A BOY! I can hear the 911 operator giving some muffled instructions. Irvin, help me untangle the umbilical cord that is randomly wrapped around his shoulder and leg. Ok, now give him to me! Oh, my sweet little boy it’s ok, keep on crying. We did it! Welcome to the world! It’s 12:23am.
Phew, that was crazy. We just had a baby on our bed. I hear sirens in the distance. Golden Girl (our dog), get off the bed! Irvin, the paramedics are here. You should put the dog in the cage so she doesn’t bark.
The paramedics are nice and do their job well. You made our job easy they tell me, you did the hard part! Oh it wasn’t that bad I tell them. I had a great coach.
As baby Irvin Anderson Bell and I are wheeled down our hallway toward the front door we are greeted by friends, Micah and Dingo (they were the ones originally called to sit with Ruby when we thought we were going to the hospital). What a proud moment for the Bell family. It’s not too often that a city boy gets to deliver his son in his house. And it’s not too often that a 23 month old girl sleeps straight through the birth of her baby brother in the next room.
It’s all in a days work I say. All in a days work.
There’s nothing really to do so we both just lay around until Ruby gets awake around 8am. The contractions continue but are just mediocre (maybe a 3 out of 10 on a discomfort scale). They’re still about 10 or so minutes apart but nothing that would stop me in from going about my day. Then, around 10am things slowed down. The contractions faded and we all were getting cabin fever from just sitting around waiting. Maybe going on a walk would help get things going again. Oh right, it’s pouring down rain. Scratch that idea. We all need to get out of the house so I decide to check some things off my list and we load up in the van and head to the mall. It’s Memorial Day so I knew good sales would await and Ruby was in desperate need of some summer clothes. After an hour or so of shopping, a big delicious lunch at Chik-fil-A, and just a few weak sporadic contractions we head home.
Around 2pm we decide that it’s family naptime and what a glorious naptime it is. We each got 3 hours of uninterrupted quality sleep…maybe my uterus would feel rested enough to get back to work! Or maybe not.
Bored out of our minds, it’s Irvin’s turn to pick an activity to get us out of the house. Naturally, he picks fishing. Eh, that doesn’t sound so fun to me but walking along the Lakefront may get the ball rolling again and when our friends Truman and Ashley agree to meet us there it’s a go.
It’s a beautiful evening for a walk so Ashley and I load our kids (they have a 10 month old son, August) in the strollers and leisurely chat it up while we’re walking. I feel a few contractions that were about a 4 out of 10 but nothing to call home about (as I told my brother who called for an update). After our walk we sat on a bench for a snack and more chatting. Every time I stood up another contraction would come. In the back of my mind I think, maybe this walk actually did something. But then again maybe not so I don’t get too excited.
As it gets close to 8pm we all pack up and head home. On the 15 minute drive home I had two more contractions! There were a little bit stronger too. Strong enough that I didn’t feel like talking in the middle of them. That was definitely progress. Then, as I’m getting out of the van at our house a significantly stronger contraction comes upon me. I really just have to sit there and breathe through it. Hmm, that was the strongest yet. I think this is actual labor but I’m not positive.
Irvin got Ruby dinner as I laid down for a little bit. The contractions kept coming and they were definitely stronger than in the morning. Around 9pm Ruby is ready for bed. We start our normal routine with our Franklin the Turtle book. In the middle of the story I had to take a break…strong contraction…Ruby please sit still, Mommy doesn’t feel so good. Ok, it passed. I hurry up and finish the book. I rush through our prayer, sing a shortened version of one song, fly through Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and lay her down just in time for another contraction to start. I gingerly walk out of the room – walking isn’t very comfortable in the middle of a strong contraction.
There is an NBA game on when I get to the living room (no different than any other recent night! J) as I stretch out on the couch. It’s about 9:30pm. I was really hungry an hour ago but now I’m not interested in the lasagna in our fridge. Irvin thinks we should time the contractions for an hour to get our baseline assessment of where we stand. He’s such a great coach with his stopwatch around his neck (which he’s been carrying around since 7am!). At the beginning of that hour I think eating an orange sounds good. Coach Irvin obliges. It’s so delicious. About 20 minutes later eating an orange sounds like a horrible idea. And 20 minutes after that I ask for a trash can. I think I might be sick but thankfully I never threw up. Ok, an hour of timing finally ends. I tell Irvin that this is definitely real labor but the contractions don’t feel quite strong enough to warrant thinking about a trip to the hospital. My greatest fear is getting to the hospital and being barely dilated. With Ruby I got to the hospital and was 7 centimeters already but still labored for 12 hours before she was born. I was definitely not looking to repeat that. I found the Coach’s synopsis of the contractions interesting. They were all under 5 minutes apart and all lasted over a minute. That can’t be right I said, they just don’t seem that productive! He told me he thought I was farther along than I felt. What could he know? He had never gone through childbirth before. I know my body and I think we have some time. (I’ll eat those words forever!) I think taking a shower will be good. Showers are supposed to be relaxing and really get contractions to intensify. Taking a bath worked well with Ruby but since I actually wanted to bathe and wash my hair a shower sounded delightful. My plan was to stay in there until the hot water ran out and I was to knock on the wall if anything drastic happened – like if my water broke. Irvin was going to lay down and try to catch a nap. It was around 11pm.
The shower was feeling amazing! So relaxing. It felt great to be clean after a long day of random emotions and long walks. The contractions continued but they didn’t feel as strong as they had been. They did however feel closer together. I hazily remembered 2 years ago when we were taking our Bradley Childbirth classes that a great position for laboring was squatting. I never did that with Ruby because every contraction was back labor and I was afraid squatting would hurt my back even more. I felt good this time though and since I was so comfortable I thought I’d see if the good Dr. Bradley was right. Well, that was the last contraction I would have the in the shower. It was the strongest contraction I had had all day (a 7 out of 10 on the discomfort scale) and it just felt different. As I got out of the shower I still felt good overall. Good enough to make sure my hair looked relatively cute. I had another minor contraction but nothing too intense.
I decide to lie down on the bed for a minute to continue my relaxing mood. Irvin asks if he should resume timing the contractions. Lets just see how the next one is I tell him. Well, the next one came and it was strong and it made me feel a little bit like pushing. Hmm, that’s interesting. I had the same feeling with Ruby and that’s when I decided it was time to go the hospital. I tell Irvin to call someone to hang out at our house while Ruby sleeps, it’s time to hit the road. He agrees and tells me to get dressed while he makes the call. Another contraction comes….I don’t think I can get up to get my clothes, Coach. I just want to lay here for a minute.
Then came the next contraction. Uh oh, there’s no mistaking this one. I absolutely have to push right now! So I push. Things start to get a bit frantic. Irvin, this baby is coming right now. Call Wendy (our pastor’s wife who happens to be a midwife). Shoot – no answer. It’s 12:15am. No Irvin we can’t make it to the hospital. Another contraction. My body is pushing regardless of what I want so the only thing I can do is push along with it. Irvin, call 911 right now! 911? Yes, this baby is coming right now call 911!
This is so surreal. Is this really happening? Irvin runs to the bathroom to wash his hands. Then he runs back to the bathroom to grab a towel. I would describe it as controlled chaos. Irvin tries to help me sit up into a position more comfortable than laying flat on my back. I can’t move! Not in the middle of a contraction! Ok, that one passes, I can sit up now. No, Irvin tells the operator, I can’t see the head. Another contraction…more pushing. During this contraction my water broke with a gush. Ok, yes I see the head Irvin says. The head is right there. What! The head is right there? It’s almost reassuring…this is almost over. Another contraction. Phew, the head is out. One last contraction. The body is out too. Woo hoo! We did it. IT’S A BOY! I can hear the 911 operator giving some muffled instructions. Irvin, help me untangle the umbilical cord that is randomly wrapped around his shoulder and leg. Ok, now give him to me! Oh, my sweet little boy it’s ok, keep on crying. We did it! Welcome to the world! It’s 12:23am.
Phew, that was crazy. We just had a baby on our bed. I hear sirens in the distance. Golden Girl (our dog), get off the bed! Irvin, the paramedics are here. You should put the dog in the cage so she doesn’t bark.
The paramedics are nice and do their job well. You made our job easy they tell me, you did the hard part! Oh it wasn’t that bad I tell them. I had a great coach.
As baby Irvin Anderson Bell and I are wheeled down our hallway toward the front door we are greeted by friends, Micah and Dingo (they were the ones originally called to sit with Ruby when we thought we were going to the hospital). What a proud moment for the Bell family. It’s not too often that a city boy gets to deliver his son in his house. And it’s not too often that a 23 month old girl sleeps straight through the birth of her baby brother in the next room.
It’s all in a days work I say. All in a days work.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Why Now?
I've tried blogging before...several times and have failed miserably. Not enough time, not enough energy, not enough going on in life that I think is interesting enough to actually write about. But I know writing is therapeutic for me and as I embrace this new normal in which I find myself I know the more therapeutic things I can do for myself the better!
So why now? What 'new normal' do I find myself in? Well, this past Friday I retired (i like that word better than quit) a job that I enjoyed at an organization (www.missionyear.org) that i love. Though this was an easy decision because my heart has been longing to focus more fully on my family, it was painfully sad to say goodbye to people that I love and respect. My last day of work was filled with prayer, tears, a surprise visit from my boss who drove 7 hours just to wish me well, and some delicious gelato to soothe my soul. It was hard but the anticipation of what was to come carried me through.
Yes, going from a full time job to full time mother/wifehood is exciting but even more exciting was the anticipation of birth of our second child. With a week from our due date I was ready to get a few last minute things done and spend a lot of quality time with our 23 month old daughter before the arrival of her brother or sister. I was looking forward to a week of what I would call 'interim normal'. Not the normal that just ended but not quite the normal that was to come. Just a week of interim.
Then Monday came.
So why now? What 'new normal' do I find myself in? Well, this past Friday I retired (i like that word better than quit) a job that I enjoyed at an organization (www.missionyear.org) that i love. Though this was an easy decision because my heart has been longing to focus more fully on my family, it was painfully sad to say goodbye to people that I love and respect. My last day of work was filled with prayer, tears, a surprise visit from my boss who drove 7 hours just to wish me well, and some delicious gelato to soothe my soul. It was hard but the anticipation of what was to come carried me through.
Yes, going from a full time job to full time mother/wifehood is exciting but even more exciting was the anticipation of birth of our second child. With a week from our due date I was ready to get a few last minute things done and spend a lot of quality time with our 23 month old daughter before the arrival of her brother or sister. I was looking forward to a week of what I would call 'interim normal'. Not the normal that just ended but not quite the normal that was to come. Just a week of interim.
Then Monday came.
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